She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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