yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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