Already got asked if we're dating
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
