Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
