Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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