How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
be right there i have to get my cape
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
