He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
