his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
