This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
