I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
