is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
