I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
