I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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