My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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