I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
