hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
