He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
cat food counts as protein by the way
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
