So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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