I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
