if i died would you start the facebook group?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
