nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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