Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
