but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
