just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
smell my finger.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
