i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
where am i from again
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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