I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
