just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
