I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
