If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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