please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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