1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
