Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is her dick bigger than yours?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
