I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
