Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
