I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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