He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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