wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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