I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
