bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
