I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
