I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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