508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
