There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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