he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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