who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
