help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
