ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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