was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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