Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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