If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
